如何克服内心的恐惧

克服内心的恐惧的五个简单步骤Easy Steps To Conquer Your Fears.When I started my business a few years back, I had no idea how much fear would come up for me. I was amazed at how crippling the grip of fear was and how helpless I felt. I knew that I needed to quickly learn some tools and techniques to help me breakthrough my fears and keep moving forward, otherwise I could kiss my dream goodbye.数年前当我开始创业时,我完全想象不到恐惧会如此向我袭来。我也讶异于恐惧缠身时的绝望感受。那时我就警醒自己需要立即学习一些方法和技巧来突破恐惧的魔罩,向前迈步,否则我只能与梦想说拜拜。I learnt these two important principles。 我懂得了两个重要原则。First,I learnt that fear will always be there when we put ourselves out of our comfort zone and that isn’t bad. Fear is actually essential, it is our survival signal and what has kept us alive all these years.首先,当我们将自己归置在安逸之外时,你就会时刻感觉到恐惧,它也没那么可怕。其实恐惧是生存的基本,也是生存的信号,长久以来它都在警醒着我们。Second,I also learnt that having a goal to be fearless is not realistic; instead, you need to look it straight in the eye and tell it to get out of your way, because it will always come up at different parts of your life, but it mustn’t stop you.第二,想要摆脱恐惧,是不切实际的;相反,你得直视它,告诉它休想阻碍你的道路,虽然它们在生活中如影随形,但却别妄想拖累你。Fear can keep you from following your dreams, it can keep you from living the life you want and doing the things you desire, but it doesn’t need to be this way. One of the biggest mistakes you might be making, is taking fear at face value.恐惧会阻碍你想追的梦想,打断你想过的生活,妨碍你想做的事情,但这完全可以解决。也许你犯的最大错误之一,就是只看到了恐惧的表面。You see, fear can be real or imagined, and your body cannot differentiate between the two, so it will do whatever it can to keep you away from this ‘imagined’ fear, no matter what the cost might be. Imagined fear has nothing to do with reality, it is related to your beliefs and your individual perspective of the world.你知道,恐惧分为实际与幻想两种类型,你的身体无法区别二者,所以它就会无所不用其极地将你与幻想恐惧分开。幻想的恐惧与现实无关,它只存在于你的信念和个人世界观里。I do a few things when I feel my worst enemy approaching, you know what I mean; that horrible feeling in the pit of your stomach, accelerated heart beat and discouraging voice in your head.当死敌靠近时,我会做几件事情,你知道我所谓的死敌是谁;那种来自内心深处的恐怖感受会加速你的心跳,阻碍你内心的呐喊。Here is what works for me…下面几点对我管用....【Rational or Irrational? 理性还是非理性?】Ask yourself what part of this fear is rational and what part is irrational. If your fear is rational, what can you do to reduce your fear?问问自己哪部分恐惧是出于理性,哪部分是出于非理性。如果你是理性恐惧,你又要做些什么来减少?If your fear is irrational, you might need to take on another perspective of the situation that will support you better.如果你是非理性恐惧,可能你就需要采取另外一个更有助于你的方法了。For example: A fear of public speaking. 比如:公共演讲恐惧症Rational: I will forget my words, the equipment won’t work, etc理性恐惧:我会忘词,设备会失灵,等等。Steps to move forward: Practice your speech 10 times over so you don’t forget it. Arrive at the venue earlier to test everything and ensure it works. Have a plan B, if for some reason you can’t use the equipment, etc克服的步骤:反复练习你的演讲10遍以上,这样你就不会忘记。提前到达演讲地点,检测每样设备以确保它们正常运作。准备计划2,以防你无法使用设备,等等。Irrational: Everyone will laugh and people will point fingers非理性恐惧:人们会嘲笑我,还会对我指手画脚。Steps to move forward: People are not that cruel, well hopefully you are not talking in front of an uneducated crowd like that. It is normal to have a fear of being ridiculed, but don’t focus on this. Learn ways to become more confident and deal with any limiting beliefs you might have.克服的步骤:人们没有那么残酷,但愿你不会在如此低素质人群面前演讲。怕被嘲笑是人之常理,但不要太在意。要学会更加自信地处理你所有的局限性信念。【The Worst and Best. 最糟的和最好的】Most of the time we don’t even consider what is the worst that can actually happen. We assume the worst is something inconceivable because we are only paying attention to our feelings. Ask yourself what is the worst that can happen, and keep on asking, “And then? And then?” When we actually look at the worst that can happen, we realize that it isn’t so bad at all.绝大部分时间我们都不会思考有可能会发生的最糟糕的事情。认为最糟糕的事情是无法想象的,因为我们只会注意自己的情感。问问你自己可能会发生的最糟糕的事是什么,然后不停追问,“接下来怎样?接下来怎样?”当我们终能想到最糟糕的事情时,就会意识到那并不算太糟.Then focus on what is the best that can happen if you do this, get crystal clear on the benefits of how this will improve your life. When you have clarity on the worst and the best, you will start to feel more motivated to keep pushing forward, because the best is almost always a million times better than the worst.然后集中注意想象能发生的最好的事情是什么,认清这些好事能助你提高生活的益处。当你明确了最糟的和最好的,你就能开始获得去努力的更多动力,因为最好的事情往往比最糟的事情好一百万倍。【Challenge your thoughts. 挑战你的思维。】Most of the time you probably accept the thoughts that bombard your mind everyday as the truth, and worse, you act on them. Your thoughts come from your beliefs and your beliefs about the world were formed from your family, friends, and other influences in life. You have developed beliefs that support you and you have developed beliefs that don’t support you as well. If you don’t challenge your thoughts and instead accept them as the truth, you are setting your self up for self sabotage.很多时候,你可能都会接受日常轰炸你头脑的想法,并将之视为真理,更糟的是,你居然还实践了它们。你的思想来自你的观念,而你的世界观又由你的家庭、朋友和其他举足轻重的人物影响形成。你发展了对你有益的观念,也发展了对你无益的观念。如果你不挑战你的思维,取而代之的是视其为真理,那你就是在自我毁灭。Ask yourself; is this a fact or a belief? If it is a belief, challenge it if it isn’t supporting you.问自己:眼前的是事实还是仅为念想?如果是后者,它又无益于你,那就试着突破它。【Using images 情景幻想。】This is a really powerful tool that is completely underutilized. Your mind actually responds much better to images and you might not be tapping into this. When you have no idea how something will work out or play out, you can imagine all kinds of scenarios, unfortunately mostly negative ones.这真的一个有效且能充分利用的方法。其实你的思维更能够适应想象中的场景,这些场景也许你无法在现实中靠近。当你对某些事情的结果毫无把握的时候,你就可以想象各种场景,虽然大多会很消极。Find a quiet place and try doing this for 5 minutes. In your mind’s eye, imagine the outcome that you would love, see it in bright colors, hear the words you want to hear, feel what you want to feel.找个安静的地方,试着幻想5分钟。用你的心眼去想象你钟爱的结果,为它添上明亮的色彩,耳畔响起你渴望的话语,感受你渴望的感觉。If you can make this picture alive and see the outcome you really want, your mind will start to calm down immediately. Try it!如果你能将画面栩栩如生地想象出来,并看到了你盼望已久的结果,那你的思维就会即刻开始沉静下来。试试吧!Talk about it 谈论恐惧。Lastly, talk about it! We all share similar fears and there is a wealth of advice out there tohelp you move forward. Don’t suffer alone. When you talk about your fears, you release the negative built up energy and so you will automatically feel better.最后一点,谈论恐惧!我们都会分享同样的恐惧,有大量的建议可以助你前进。不要独自承受。当你说出你的感受时,你就能够释放消极的能量,自然而然的就会感觉好起来。Don’t give into something that you really can control, you have more strength inside you than you know. It is better to face your fears now and enjoy the reward than to give up on your dreams and face that later.不要向你真正能够控制的事物低头,因为你无法知道你到底有多大的潜在能量。与其放弃梦想、迟迟面对恐惧,不如现在就面对它、享受努力带来的回报。2014年1月30日编


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